dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
