She's JV to your varsity
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
