Do you still have your period?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
