Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
