A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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