I just made out with a guy for $7.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
