He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...