The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's rum buckets o'clock
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook