I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
