Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it was like eating out sand paper
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
