The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
