hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
