I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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