First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's shark week go big or go home
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
