First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
