we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
