somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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