So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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