Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
