Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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