I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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