I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
