i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
