i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This is my gift to your gina
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
