How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
