What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
