how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
