yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
