listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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