You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When are your genitals available?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
