This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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