I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
