I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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