she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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