how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
