I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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