We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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