The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
