operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
