did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if only i could text you this smell
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
