why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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