five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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