we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
