$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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