using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
