Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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