I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just pynch a tree in the face
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
