She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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