She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My life is pants optional.
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