thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
