I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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