i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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