he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
