He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
