dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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