I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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