let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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