Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
