I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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